It really is a good day to do just that. It's a beautiful day today and I don't feel like I can enjoy it.
What do you do when you find out that 20 years of your life has been a sham? When you find out that the one person you wanted to spend your life with was barely tolerating you, while telling you how much they loved you? What do you do when the mass populous has only one opinion based on gender, which they cry out "it's your own damn fault".
What do you do when you find out that you are worth so little as a human being that you aren't even worth divorcing before remarriage?
Yes, it's all my fault. I lived. When my death was what would have made so many other lives easier, I was selfish enough to live. For what? To lose everything. To have my son loath me. To see my best friend engaged to another male. To be a burden to a new group of people on top of still leeching off my poor daughter.
I can't go on. Grousing time is over. I have to find a purpose again, or I will die from guilt, shame, and a broken heart.
